Happiness Quotient Headquarters

January 13, 2008 4 Comments

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What would you be doing if the doctor told you that you only had a few months to live? I want to share the true and inspiring story of a family member in exactly this position. Let me tell you a little bit about my brother-in-law Don. Don is many things: a family man, a fisherman, a hard worker, a prankster, a former Marine, a Pink Floyd fan, a quiet thinker, a person who hates cheese in all forms, a wearer of black t-shirts, among others. Unfortunately, he has also been diagnosed with colon cancer. His family was recently informed that he is only expected to live a few more months. This has been devastating news to the many people who love the big, burly friendly guy. Don is the guy you hope gets seated next to you at the football game. He is a loyal father, husband, brother, and friend.

Don is also a car enthusiast–the kind whose whole face lights up at the mention of horsepower and torque. He personally restored a 1966 Ford Galaxy to all of its red, purring glory and enjoys riding it around town. He has been in, on, and around cars all of his life but had never been anywhere near his dream car: the Ford GT40, a stunner of a car that had originally been a racing machine, a 4-time winner of the LeMans and capable of jaw-dropping speeds. It was this dream that his best friend, Glen, decided to make happen.

Now, you don’t just hang out at the neighborhood Ford dealership and test-drive a Ford GT40. Rare and expensive, most of us will never see one on the road. So Glen thought about other car enthusiasts and decided to write to the one person he could think of who might have a Ford GT40. He poured his heart and soul into a beautiful letter to celebrity Jay Leno, owner of close to 200 classic cars and motorcycles. A few weeks later the phone rang, and it was Jay himself. He was interested in seeing the Ford Galaxy (a model which had been owned by Jay’s mother). Yes, Jay is a proud owner of a Ford GT40 and was more than willing to have the family stop by for a visit.

Fewer things are more difficult than keeping this kind of secret, but keep it we did. Don was told that his friend was paying for a trip to Southern California to see Disneyland and family members asked, “Wouldn’t it be fun to take the Ford Galaxy?” He was never informed that he was going to meet Jay Leno. When the family arrived in the Los Angeles Area, his friend told him that a fellow car-enthusiast wanted him to stop by so he could see his Ford Galaxy. Being the mellow, agreeable kind of guy he is, Don never asked questions, and was happy to meet another lover of fast cars.

After being taken into a non-descript warehouse area, the car stopped at a security area. Glenn was so excited that it took him four or five tries to input the correct code to open the fence. Eventually, the black fence parted and the cars stopped inside so that Glen’s “friend” could check out the Galaxy. A large-jawed, jeans-clad man appeared in the distance and headed towards the group. “Hey, it’s Jay Leno, Don stammered excitedly, “I’d know him anywhere. That’s Jay Leno!” He was in disbelief and could barely manage to talk. Jay came up to greet Don and the family and welcome him to his garage. The group went on a guided tour that car enthusiasts can usually only dream of. Every kind of car and motorcycle imaginable was there, including some with interesting stories (Elvis’s bike), at least one which had achieved a speed record, and one that was one of the earliest electric cars (the favorite of Jay’s wife). Meanwhile, Jay went to warm up the dream car.

At the end of the tour, Jay pulled up in the revered red 2005 GT40 and asked Don to get in. Shortly after they left, Jay pulled over and had Don drive. Don said all he could think of was praying not to stall the thing. As they pulled up the driveway after a wild ride through the area, Don’s eyes were gleaming with childlike delight. The picture of him sitting in that car after his dream ride is, to me, the essence of happiness. His grin was as wide as his face. Jay jokingly exclaimed, “He almost killed me!”

So Don got his well-deserved dream, and his friend and family got a memory they will never forget (as well as autographed photos and a videotape). It got me thinking about how good a best friend Don has, and how we treat people when we know they don’t have much time left. Wouldn’t it be great if we always treated people this way? I mean, none of us really knows how much time we have left. If you thought that guy that cut you off in traffic only had a few days left, or if you did, how much time would you want to spend yelling angrily or giving him the finger? Somehow, it puts things in perspective.

Our fragile life has a way of reminding us that we need to live every day as if it were our last. One book, A Year to Live, sets a course for treating an entire year as if it were your last. How would it change your priorities? How would you want to be remembered? Some individuals with cancer have called the diagnosis a strange blessing because it causes them to perceive the little things differently. Some have said they only learned how to live once they learned they were dying. If you were writing your own epitaph, how would you want it to read? Do you have things you would want to say to people that you haven’t said? Do you have places you long to visit that you haven’t visited? Do you have a dream to attain or can you help someone else achieve theirs, as Don’s friend did?

I have never had a problem with birthdays. I’ve always considered it a little disrespectful to complain about them. After all, there are millions of people who never made it to my age. I think of the cheerful smiles of kids at St. Jude’s Hospital in Memphis, stoically living each day the best they can. The odds get better and better, but not all of them will make it. Living each day to our fullest honors ourselves, but it also honors those who didn’t get the chance to touch the beautiful, unfolding, fragile hands of today. I am rarely able to stay up at night past 10pm, but when I do, you can be sure I will be watching Leno on the Late Night Show and feeling an immense amount of gratitude.

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My brother, Don died today May 6, 2008 at 3pm. I miss him terribly, he was strong, burly and kind hearted. I was astounded at so many lives he had touched and so many people full of respect and love for him that I have met. He was the most wonderful brother a person could have.
——— Kath

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